Last Thursday, July 11th, we had the opportunity in Barcelona to attend the public lecture by Ven.Chokyi Nyima Rinpoché.
As I am a bad detailer when I´m writing remembrances or emotions I cannot despite well all the experience vividly. I usually sit to see the things that remain in the mind after a particular experience, contemplation, listening to the dharma, or having been in the presence of a "master Advanced ", whether physically or not. In fact, it is difficult for me to expose the physical events without going to gears a little more complex; Perhaps one of the reasons why I, too, have ceased to do so, to put things in writing for others, except for myself; as a reminder. Only that. Sometimes, very occasionally, as a reminder. In fact, the last times I´d been moved to do it.
It has been a long time since I took the task of making myself understood, although it is true, that this is not so applicable to the basic necessities, human and prevailing from day to day, and although this colophon seems not to fit here, yes, it has is it, and yes it comes to recall for many reasons, who those, that know what they are, will understand why they are clarified.
I've never really liked taking pictures, in fact, I rarely look at them, or go back on them, on them to see it. Some time ago, I used cameras to joke a little with myself, with reality, or as a vague memory of an instant, but now almos forgot the initial purpose. Now, I´m doing this for expression itself to others, just as way of communicating "visual understanding of proper understanding that each one has about themselves; then it is as if I was not more present, although I know it is stored in the memory of the "camera". Therefore, so I am "bad" -little nice- , to be photographed. I don´t like the subject of standing out and posing there not little or not to much; and, as it is the only way that the photos therefore, it is almost impossible to take a picture to "my taste".
I am collecting this for several reasons, for which, also, those involved in it will understand why I am telling them this. And as I been saying, that, many times, it´s a result of meditation´s work. So, for these things that seems so simple, someone will have to push me. They do not have to push me to go to the places, or to solve, because if it is within the mental perimeter to reach that point in this physical plane, I will not hesitate to do so; but concerning the subject, the one to make the photos, the previously mentioned and for the varied and infinite angles that this context could to have; thus is, then, another thing. So, even if it was the first time, that I could be in contact with Chokyi Nyima Rinpoché, I did not take a single photo; and in this case, none of the people who accompanied me to the event made allusion to it, or took any photo either. So I refer now, to mind itself, trying to tell some more subtle experiences into the know-how with Rinpoché.
As always, and I am not surprised with the generosity of a good lama, because where I was, all my lamas have been so "detached" with the time offered, more than it was drafted in the beginning. So did Rinpoché, too; he stayed almost an hour longer.
The basis of my practice is Vajrayana, but, like every practitioner who does not have a close resident - and perhaps those of a more curious and restless mind, or for other many motives - we seek alternate paths, without being directed but only by his own "perception", or the recognition of previous links to it," or pushed by others who are already on that other path, and so on. This, in Venezuela, we call "taking or driving through green roads" when we want to reach a point without "soak through", and we are trying to avoid the traffic and the congestion of the main roads, then we use the more curved but less traveled resources, which we have to reach that point. O. Both states, part of the same, by the starting point to the arrival point. This is part of what I felt, that day I was to get to see Rinpoché till the stepped out of the conference. Finally, although I sat in the last prepared garter, the last chairs were left empty when I came there -next to Green Tara- "Though I could see him clearly because of distance and heads along, -I wasn´t not aware of him as such entity-, but immersed in his transmission of Buddha´s teaching; I was engrossed at times until some joke from Rinpoché, cut the block. Actually, Rinpoché, it's very funny, -as many of the lamas with I been sharing time in the past, -with all respect-.
His teachings are very profound, and although in public conferences can not delve into many things, because it would be almost impossible for most of the people who are venturing into the Buddhist teachings to follow the thread, he touched many aspects, always emphasizing the nature of intrinsic nature of the mind and the interdependence of phenomena. Although he had a limited time to expose things and this quality of time is being reduced by this cause, the depth of content can be understand or assimilate in partial times, fractions, and difference the texture of sea salt from refined salt, by listening the Buddha´s teaching. I could synchronize the "clock of him" and enter into that current and let it permeate the indivisible. In truth, this time, I was not specifically for the "dharma" -although it is wrong to say it. Actually, I went to see him. Simply that. I went to see it. I stayed until the end, as always. I never go before a lama had finished at leas a major cause compelled me to it; although I try, later, to be the first to sneak, or the one that tries to pass through the other side without making muh noise. I went to share with him that physical space. And I put my head where I should do, so he could do what he had to do. He put on me, the Kata, just like in the past. Our smiles crossed and the stares, set the point. Nothing else. Then, from the end of the room, I watched him go, thinking of the unthinkable.
That night, I had a first insight into something I had to decide at this time. Rinpoché, directed a candle in front of a grey wall and an indication of position to put the candle. That was a first sign; however, I still did not take the signal as definitory and waited before making the decision immediately. That day, on Wednesday, passed quietly, but much more hectic than he should; however, the goals were accomplished without much hindrance. That night of Wednesday, all night, he was present. "I dreamed, between dreams," different planes. And the image of it with the candle and the position was repeated: "Up", he told me. "Not, down." It's not your energy". This, he was referring to the decision he had to make. We were on a relatively low hill, surrounded by white ducks, honey-colored monkeys, flowers of many colors, a smell of fresh wood, after rain, grass, and two elephants, one white and one gray circling the area.
The following experience, that, was on the dawn: Rinpoché, had come to my home, with one of his disciples of the highest rank. I led them into the living room. That space was a new place for me, a recent move. I did not even know where the kitchen´s utensils were.
Sitting, squatting, with my arm reclined on the forearm of the couch where he was sitting, I asked him what he wanted to have, Rinpoché, Chokyi Nyima, he replied: "Nothing; we're just going to work ". I insisted on making some tea. He said, "Okay, make tea for the three of us, and then, we start to work." On the other side, far away, in the corridor, I could "see" that my mother had come to see me for holidays, and she returned home with two woolen bundles, one blue, and one red. I had bought her the pink one, because I knew she would not find it, and I knew she would need it for what she planned to knit. So, I gave it to her; we hardly crossed the hall; I invited her to meet Rinpoché, but she said no. Just took the wool´s ball and went to her room. I went to the kitchen to get a tea pot.
The last experience of that dawn was an extreme headache, in the exact place where Rinpoché put his hand to give the inner blessing, filtered, free of external saviors. "-Smile"-....
After that, I just saw the same image from the beginning: and Rinpoché, he repeated: "Let's go to work. Now, what you have to do, do up, not down. Do not do it, below the level, it´s not your energy to live. Then, from that on, the sweet expression of Shamar Rinpoché made me rise up to sketch the images, which are only recognized by the mind of the experimenter. These are only words. Experience can not be shared, not really; that's impossible.
Thank you, Chokyi Nyima Rinpoché, for make accessible the points.
With love and reverence,